Dear Leaders Confronting Obesity

We must all display proper gratitude when our Dear Leaders are so generous as to demonstrate for us the benefits of following their carefully planned diets. Only today, Dear Leader David Cameron (or one of his drones) was ranting about how any poor people who are fat, or addicted to drugs or alcohol, must have their benefits cut to the bone, as it were.It is a fine thing that our slim, fit politicians are so good at leading us by their example. In my illustration of our Dear Leader Callmedave, you will notice that he is cleverly multi-tasking, by also demonstrating the importance of wearing sun screen, if you wish to avoid being mistaken for a cooked lobster. We are indeed fortunate to have a prime minister with such breadth. Of feeling. [Note to self: Check the punctuation later.]

Meanwhile, here is another Dear Leader, Kim Jong Fat, demonstrating that he fully participates in the heroic self-sacrifice, not to mention starvation, that his subjects joyously undergo, in the name of fitness. Note that he has not made the mistake of sitting within reach of the dangerously fattening beers. I am not at all sure what he has on the table in front of him, but I bet he didn't eat it, smoke it, or snort it up his nose. If only we could zoom in on his glasses, and enhance the image, to find out who his companion is!

Let us end with a warning. Some terribly unwise person has rather obviously faked up this picture of the normally very dignified Eric Pickles, Minister of Biscuits and Limousines, by making him look much slimmer than he actually is. Stop doing things like that, whoever you are. It's not big, and it's not clever.