The Dear Leader's Diary - 6

I am not wasting time, and have rolled up my sleeves. Everything is going very smoothly now that we are not carrying the Liberal Democrats, who were really rather hopeless. A little ruthlessness in government goes a long way, I find. Already we are seeing that the country has happily accepted our glorious victory, with hardly anyone saying we somehow fiddled the vote. 

All is calm in London, as you can see from this picture. The BBC news confirms that this isn't happening, and they had better continue to do so, if they don't want my friend George to take away all their funding. They deserve that, obviously, as they are totally controlled by the Labour Party, which cannot be allowed to continue.

George will, obviously, be continuing in his highly successful role of Chancellor of the Exchequer, to which he has brought his usual high standards of powerful thinking. I am looking forward to him continuing to pay down the National Debt, which has already been lowered from the record £800 billion the reckless Labour Party lumbered us with, to the much more sensible figure of £1.5 trillion. 

I know he's a bit common, but I am delighted to appoint Michael Gove as our Justice Secretary. He's jolly keen on the death penalty for all sorts of offences, and will be helping me to get Britain out of the terrible Human Rights nonsense they have inflicted on us. He was an absolutely terrific success as Education Minister, and his fine work resulted in many teachers moving to better jobs.

The nonsense of Human Rights will be replaced by our Bill of Rights, which everyone will have to pay, except those who keep their money in offshore banks, as any sensible person does.


A busy day, already, and I will deserve this evening's chillaxing. I believe I will have a gallon or two of real ale, and play my favourite record, Eton Rifles.