Saturday, May 16, 2015

The Dear Leader's Diary - 16

Much to my surprise, my iPad can do more than just play the amazing game, Fruit Ninja! I have worked out a way to make it display books as well. Who says I know nothing about computers? I have found a fascinating book, called "Whipping Up A Storm", full of fascinating anecdotes by an old friend of George's. And he's even managed to get a picture of himself on the cover. 

I'm not sure what that white powder is, or why it's on a book cover though. I'll have to ask one of the little people who assist me by remembering things for me. And who rolls their banknotes up like that? One can carry far more of them if they are kept flat. And the £50 notes burn much better in front of "homeless" people if you keep your bundle of them flat, as well.

I may need to give George some advice about choosing his friends more carefully. I'm sure he won't mind, as he has always taken my advice about things, like never being too obviously sloshed or stoned or whatever the current idiom is. It's well known that I can make friends at every level, even high up newspaper people.

And I stand by my friends, like Mr Coulson, right up until they get dragged off to jail. Then I get everything connecting to me edited off the internet, and all is well.

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