Friday, May 29, 2015

The Dear Leader's Diary - Episode 26

Everything is going according to the Long Term Plan, which was given to me by my close friend Barry Obama. I was quite surprised to be Prime Minister again, without needing any help from Clegg's Awkward Brigade this time. They lost lots of seats, of course, and I wasn't at all surprised by that, as their supporters all spotted that they had been made to look like idiots by Clegg, who did a brilliant job of pretending to oppose us in 2010.
I've put my Long Term Attack on Human Rights on the back burner (in one of my kitchens, LOL!) for now, and will quietly sneak it into one of the other bills a bit later.
The things I am going to do to the European Community, to improve it include
  • Completing the single market. (George says this matters)
  • Reducing EU red tape, so businesses are not held back by silly "Elf and Safety" rules, and can make bigger profits without worrying about their staff.
  • Making sure that Eurozone decisions do not over-ride the interests of non-Eurozone countries. That's us, of course, but it's also the good old USA. Barry is very keen on something he calls Tea-Tip, which I think is the TTIP agreement that is so important to the big businesses in America. It's business, so it matters.
  • Allowing national parliaments to reject EU laws. 
  • Reforming the budget, so we stop giving so much to farmers. Most of them will still vote for us anyway, because their parents did.
  • Opting out of any commitment to closer union. Britain is a leading nation, and just being part of Team Europe makes us look silly. We need to be part of Team USA!

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