Wednesday, May 13, 2015

The Dear Leader's Diary - Port 10

Note to web team: get rid of that ham or be sacked.

Now, it's obviously going to take George a day or two to come up with an updated version of the plan he says we have got. I've never actually seen it myself, but I'm pretty good at choosing people to be in government with me, and I always stand by them until it becomes necessary to get rid of them.

In the meantime, we have come up with some sensible proposals for enforcing free speech. As part of our war on terror, we propose "a ban on broadcasting and a requirement to submit to the police in advance any proposed publication on the web and social media or in print."[1] Obviously, that will not apply to this diary, as I am in charge, and democratic by definition. All Tweets will have to be vetted by the police, as we all know too many of them can make a Twatter. This may cause some slight delays, but we must make certain that the youth are not corrupted. I'm considering what punishments we should have for unapproved Tweets, and think something like having to volunteer to drink hemlock would be proportionate.

[1] The Guardian. 

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